Thursday, December 8, 2011


I hope that I am making progress as a sub at Rochester Public Library.  I think I am working fairly frequently these days as regular librarians seem to be dropping like flies and so are the rest of the people in this city with regular winter illnesses.  My son has also been sick.  Somehow I am still healthy and that is a miracle, I suppose.  I've been doing a lot of reading teen literature in my free time.  I try to avoid violent book as they don't leave me feeling good when I stop reading.  My life has been wanting to experience more comedy and I try to comply with book and movie choices.  It isn't easy to get ahead of the curve with what people are already interested in, but I'm trying to make this uphill battle funny at the very least.

As usual, my personal life wants to get in the way as I have been struggling to find reliable care for my babies and also hit a happy stride in my not quite brand new marriage.  Slow but steady these are progressing.  My stress levels are reduced as I work more hours at the library and that really is a very good thing. 

So attitude, yes I wanted to write about attitude.  I do try as much as I can to work hard whenever I am subbing.  Not every library provides me with tasks to complete and I spend time in front of a computer.  I answer reference questions of course but that still leaves some down time.  I suppose I ought to strive to be reflective and return to my Info Mania blog.  I'm sure there are plenty of tidbits of information that I could have added and that are useful to record in such a format as this. 

My mantra as a substitute librarian is "I am happy to help in any way that I can."  Whenever someone, especially one of my coworkers, asks for anything I cheerfully comply.  I think this has facilitated my working more hours.  It's either that or they don't want to lose me to the full time teen librarian position that I applied to out of the area.  I also applied to a part time teen librarian position that is within driving distance of my current residence.  If I get the second position, I can continue to sub a little.  If I get the full time position I may be able to seriously change my life situation for the better.  There is another position open locally that I applied for but it is not working with teenagers.  It is working with the city historian.  The pay is less and the work is temporary, but I could stay with Rochester Public Library.  I would very much like to have regular hours so that my kids can have more stability in their lives. I want to continue to make the wages I am earning at the present time and no less.  Full time would be nice...  I'm dreaming.  The library universe is full of cuts, but I hold on to the belief that if I work hard enough they will feel they need to keep me and find me a position. 

I've been working at Central literature division more and more.  I need to improve in my reference skills.  They are teaching me, but it's hard because I have to ask for a lot of help.  Older librarians are frustrated working with young people like me because they think I think everything is on Google.  I made it through library school, and I know that there's more to finding information than typing it into a search engine.  At the same time I recognize that I need to grow in this area.  I can't do it without help.  Like, how am I supposed to know it until I learn it?  I am capable of figuring stuff out, but whenever I interrupt and ask another librarian for help I feel as though I am intruding.  Central is cliquish and sometimes I leave work from there feeling inadequate.  I do enjoy subbing at the branches, but Central librarians are supposedly superior because they have subject specialties. It's a great place to learn, but being constantly aware of how I am not yet good enough at what I do can be exhausting.  I just need to remind myself that I am glad to be improving and I must always continue to improve as my career progresses.  Some librarians are better at helping me learn than others.  Unlike some librarians I am unashamed to admit what I do not know.  I think keeping my ego separate from my knowledge makes it more enjoyable for me to learn and work.  I like to learn, that's why I became a librarian, not because I like being an expert. 

If I do know the answer, I might as well share what I know anyway.  One of the problems I am having with myself is that I find myself remembering information but being unable to cite where the information came from.  Thus I come across as a wanna be know it all without any substance to back up my claims.  I just wish my memory would serve me better.  Titles, authors, and sources all need to be linked in my mind and they just haven't been doing that some of the time.  I just wanna whack the side of my head and say "WORK DAMMIT" and force my brain to submit to my needs.  I hope it will eventually succumb to my wishes as I persist in making my wishes clear.  Dendrites, come on dendrites.  Grow~~!!!!